another update

I have actually been trying to blog for a while but it just hasn’t worked out. For some reason, I can’t log into the blogger app on my phone and using the website on my phone is a pain in the ass. Today is my first day out of training and it is pretty dead, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to write. I had some profound things that I wanted to express but I can’t think of what they were lol. Guess they weren’t that profound. I finally feel like I somewhat know what I am doing at work. I still have a lot of questions but nearly as many as I once did. Dating life has slowed down for me. I am talking to two people. With Deon, it’s just sex and with Aaris I like him and he likes me and all that good stuff and maybe commitment will come into play but right now I don’t want to commit. It isn’t that I want to be a whore (not that it wasn’t fun), I just don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s emotions anymore. I am happier now than I have been in years and I credit it to me being single. If I wasn’t so scared of being alone I wouldn’t have gotten into the relationships that I got into and I wouldn’t have hated my life for so long. I know I made the right decision in coming back, I wish I hadn’t gone in the first place, I missed so much by leaving and gained so little. But, that’s life I guess.


One thing that I am super excited about is moving. It’s really nice having my mom as a stopover point. I get to be around my family a lot which is something that I took for granted when I first got here. I spent more time running the streets than I did at home but now that I have been staying put I have really been enjoying them. Being at my mom’s house also gives me the opportunity to prepare for my house like I want to. There will be no hand me downs, I get what I want and it feels good. I know it will feel even better to walk into my first place by myself. I am actually looking forward to being alone which was once my biggest fear.