I really think I'm beginning to lose it, I deserve it. Today I scared myself, I began to think about death and I welcomed it. I would never take my own life but I don't want to live it anymore. Tired of existing but existing is all I am. There has to be more to life than this box of misery that I live in. There has to be another escape other than escaping life itself. I need help, my life is no longer my own, I don't know if it ever has been. With me comes pain to anyone I surround. Its time to get away. I need to get away.
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