Just Coping

I found something to be excited about strangely. I did not want a dog but somehow I ended up with one and I needed one. Her name is Lilly and she is the sweetest cutest thing. She is the daughter of my dog Noodle who ran way with his boyfriend Jack to never be seen again. It’s strange but all of a sudden, today I had this sudden urge to see her. I needed something to give my attention to and love and she loves unconditionally…….well she will once she knows she is stuck with me and has no other choice. Right now she runs away quite a bit.

Today didn’t start off so well for me. I have always had anxiety and depression issues but within the last few months its gotten worse. I don’t know what causes it but I am sure stress plays a role in it. Holding in a big secret can cause that I guess. Not feeling wanted in the place you call home is stressful. Constantly wondering what’s on your partners mind can cause that as well. Now, the only stress I have are the thoughts in my head and I guess that’s enough to throw my issues into overdrive. I had an anxiety attack that lasted from 6:49-11:45. It was unbearable. I was so relieved when it passed but I don’t feel all together better. Lord, I need Monday to get here faster.