Another Saturday of reflection

Another Saturday night at work and I think I have reached that time when calls stop coming through, 3 hrs and 51 min to go, yippy skippy. I still like my job and the people that I work with. All in all it was a good move, especially since everyone in my old dept. is scared about if they are going to have a job in the future. I would like to say that I have nothing to worry about when it comes down to that but considering some of the people that got laid off so far in the company had just taken new positions. I talked to my friend Jha’ron and my old manager and both of them were scared about their jobs. I will just count my blessings for being employed and not worry about it because if they do layoffs, there really isn’t anything that I can do about it.


Last night I didn’t stay home, I intended to but it didn’t work out that way. I wish I had made it home. Nene finally broke down over the loss of Josiah and I wasn’t there. Mama wanted to do something for her so she is taking her to Vegas in a week or so when they go. I wish I could have been there though, not sure what I can do to soften the blow other than just being there. I couldn’t imagine what it did to her emotionally the first time and for it to happen again, again I can’t imagine.

I managed to get sick so that shift is really blowing right now. I don’t know exactly what it is but I have a fairly good idea. I have had headaches for the last two nights and a fever last night and today accompanied by the chills. I think my lack of meds is starting to take its toll on me which sucks. Hopefully I am wrong and all of this will clear up by the time I come back to work on Monday. Thank God for Aariss he gave me that special sick attention that I need when I am sick and being a baby but last night, I wasn’t a baby. It was nice being looked after but he worries unnecessarily and he is really worried about me at this time. I kind of regret telling him about me being sick, I don’t want him to worry. But I did tell him, and on top of that he got to witness it. My intention wasn’t even to stay the night last night, I went over because he was dealing with some stuff and was down so I went over for support, I ended up taking a nap and when I woke up, my skin was on fire and then I was forbidden to leave. He is a really good guy and he is good to me, I just hope he can wait on me. I came up with a game plan. Aariss is who I want to be with but I can’t do it right now. I slowed down on all the extra stuff I have been doing I put my focus on being home. I have an apartment to prepare for, I have things that I need to focus on and while I am sure I can focus on them while in a relationship, I don’t want to and I am not trying to. I have expressed that I am not opposed to being in a relationship but I am opposed to it right now. I just hope he can understand. If not, it’s not meant to be.